LAKE WORTH, FLA.-- Busy corporate executives often don't have time to view first-run movies in theaters, so with all of the Academy Award hoopla, they tend to be culturally deprived. Since marketing, promotion, and public relations consultants spend millions on catchy movie titles, sometimes we figure you can get the gist of a film just from the title. So, although I haven't seen most of them, here's my guess as to a synopsis of some top winners and nominees:

 A BEAUTIFUL MIND:  The true romance about what a 90-year-old Texas billionaire liked about Anna Nicole Smith.
 LORD OF THE RINGS:  Fictionalized biography of Don King.
 SHREK:  Startling docu-drama about a group of Florida retirees who learn the Early Bird Buffet price has been raised by $2.
 HARRY POTTER:  Little known Independence, Mo. saga about President Truman's toilet training.
 BLACKHAWK DOWN:  Textile mill owners fight environmentalists over endangered birds used for pillow stuffing.
 MOULIN ROUGE:  LSU Co-ed Mary Moulin's true story about her sorority's "Toga Weekend" in the Louisiana capitol.
 IN THE BEDROOM:  Ted Kennedy co-stars with Bill Clinton in this light romp with a message of social responsibility.
 I AM SAM:  The inspiring and true tale of the life and times of Dr. Seuss.
 TRAINING DAY:  Touching rendition of 1950 story of young boy whose dad finally removes the two small extra wheels from his bicycle.
 
 and my personal favorite:
 MONSTER'S BALL:  the untold diary of an NBA urologist.